In our most recent Great Conversation Playlist (November 1, 2021), we sat down with Stan Partlow, former CSO of AEP, one of the nations foremost utilities. Stan has started an advisory called Relentless Effort, LLC, and had dedicated his knowledge, wisdom, and passion for leadership to helping others. He sent us this  article that we believe should be read and studied. I call it working backwards from the seminal event everyone shares, death, to explore how we might have been known in our personal and professional lives. I hope it gives you all pause, as it should. There is nothing I would wish more then for all of your loved ones and associates to remember you well. Here are Stan’s thoughts:

Leadership is Intentional

by Stan Partlow

Leadership requires relentless effort all day every day. Some people in leadership roles believe that they need only engage in leadership behaviors when they are at work. They believe they can flip a switch and return to their “normal” selves when at home. The problem with that approach is that your team members will quickly realize that you are not being authentic because when you are under stress you will revert to your real self. So effective leadership, requires an intentional effort to become the person that you want to be all the time using the attributes that you believe will make you an effective leader. Not only will your team benefit from that change but you and your family will realize a better life as well.

Once you determine the attributes that you believe are critical, you must figure out a way to demonstrate them all the time. It is not enough just to think about them because no one can read your mind. The only thing people really know about you are the words you use and the behaviors you demonstrate to them daily. You must determine those core values that you can build upon to demonstrate the behaviors that will make you an effective leader.

One way to do that is to write your epitaph. We don’t use epitaphs too much anymore. We talk about our departed loved ones on social media and through celebrations of life or church services. But if you walk around any old cemetery, you will see headstones with the words carved in the stone that represent the way the deceased wanted to be remembered for all eternity. They usually begin with a name and Here Lies a Woman Who... The words then go on to describe how that person lived their life and how they want to be remembered by future generations.

So how do you want to be remembered for all eternity? What are the three or four core values that you can demonstrate to all of those around you so that they will remember you in that way once you are gone from this earth? Those core values become the building blocks that you will use to create the behaviors that will allow you to be seen by others as the leader you desire to be.

 There are so many attributes that you can identify that make a great leader. But like anything else, if you choose too many things to work on you will likely not master any of them. I think three or four is a manageable number. If you practice those core values enough you will quickly see how you can use them as the foundation for other leadership attributes that you want to convey.

 As I completed this exercise, I settled on these four. So, my epitaph could read: “Here Lies Stan Partlow a Man Who:”

·       Practiced his Faith

·       Loved his Family

·       Was Generous

·       Lived with an Attitude of Gratitude

 I can use these four core values to build my leadership approach. For example, if I want the culture in my organization to be like a family, I must demonstrate to my team that I love my family. I do that by talking about my family and asking them about their families. If I want to establish a team that is willing to go the extra mile for team members, customers, and other stakeholders, I need to demonstrate that I am generous with my time. I do that by always setting aside time for my team no matter how busy I might be. I have one on one discussions with them, engage them in group settings, and volunteer to mentor them. If I consistently demonstrate that I am never too busy for them they will in turn spend that extra time to help each other and address customer concerns.

 The core values that you list on your epitaph are non-negotiable and they become part of every internal discussion you have with yourself as you make decisions. As you are considering a course of action or a comment you are about to make you must step back and ask if that course of action or comment is in alignment with your core values. If it is not, then you need to adjust. Remember the only thing that your family, team, your peers, and your customers know about you is what you show them through your words and actions.

 Take a few moments and think about how you want those around you to remember you after you are gone. Write those three or four values down and then practice them with relentless effort in your personal and professional lives every time you get an opportunity!