I was visiting a prospective client the other day. We went out to lunch at one of their favorite restaurants. The waitress came up to the table and, as always, I asked what her name was. She replied and I shared mine. I thanked her and asked about her day and then we continued the ritual of ordering our drinks and our meal. I did the same for the person who kept replenishing my water.

The prospective client later shared with my partner that the exchange felt “odd” to him and implied I might have been putting on some form of act for his benefit.

Isn’t that interesting?

I know what it feels like to be invisible. Do you? And do you strive to ensure you do your part to acknowledge those who cross your path if just for a moment? More importantly, those who interact with you, or serve you, or are in a professional relationship such as your co-workers and your employees?

This Great Conversation is about another form of being invisible. It touches many different people usually because of their skin color, their attire, their sexual orientation, their lifestyle…It is insidious because it is deeply rooted in how we were socialized from birth through our cultural stewards like educators, media, and ideological leaders.

The Invisible Generals, written by Doug Melville, is purportedly a story of rediscovering his family’s legacy. And that is true. It is an extraordinary story of his ancestors journey through a Forest Gumpian encounter with some of this nations most pivotal moments; from the Civil War, through WWI and WWII. We see his great, great, grandfather Louis, becoming the trusted servant of one of the Civil War’s most trustworthy generals who happens to be friends with Ulysses Grant and then find him holding Grant’s son on his lap as he heads to the White House. We see Louis’ son Ben Sr. (aka Ollie) being recommended to enter West Point, and being stalled by a later president buckling to the politics of the day. But, because of his performance and service with the Buffalo Soldiers, a term used by the native Indians who fought the segregated black soldiers in the American Indian Wars, the same president made him a commissioned officer.

We then hear about Ben Jr.’s path to West Point, and the grueling isolation of his time there. Later he would establish himself honorably in WWII. You might have heard of his exploits with the Tuskegee Airmen. The Airmen's success in escorting bombers during World War II – having one of the lowest loss records of all the escort fighter groups, and being in constant demand for their services by the allied bomber units.- is a record unmatched by any other fighter group.

Along the way we learn about a unique mindset that refused to be a victim of their circumstance. Refused to become an invisible statistic. We will “infuse the system to diffuse the system” was their motto. They saw themselves as free, independent people who wanted to live up to the American dream, rather then play down to the role of victim. Their actions became their testimony.

This Great Conversation inspired me. And because Doug Melville chose to share his lessons learned for all of us at the end of the book, it can become a primer for your own pursuit of resilience in the face of insurmountable odds, and the inevitable recognition that life can be very unfair. But for Doug and his ancestors, they are mere stones guiding you on your path to value.